There may be more truth than humor, here!

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products
banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how
to defeat his enemy.  A liberal wonders how to surrender
gracefully and still look good.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to
better his situation.  A liberal wonders who is going to
take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches
channels.  Liberals demand that those they don't like be
shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to
church.  A liberal non-believer he wants any mention of God and
religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of
course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes
about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his. 

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up,
laughs and is embarrassed. If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs

his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

If a conservative reads this, he'll share/forward it so his
friends can have a good laugh.  A liberal will not because he's "offended".